It's said that a woman's happiest day is the day she gets married.
Well today I stumbled upon a wedding planning site that I fell absolutely in love with; trouble is I'm 19 and I don't plan on marrying for quite a while, which leaves me with a whole decade of trends, designs, and personal style to come through and change my world. But still, I can't help but flip through the site and look at all of the beautiful wedding photos.
I also happened to watch Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer, which begins with a wedding.
So the common theme between the two of these? The women are always the ones controlling and leading the matrimonial celebration. In fact, the women are usually the ones in focus in the engagement and wedding photos. As a result I was left with several questions, are we, as women, expected to care this much about weddings? Is it because we have been groomed this way since we were little, expecting to have some extravagant ceremony? Is it because women in history could achieve nothing better than marrying a man? Or is it more that women actually like planning parties and a wedding is the ultimate thing you could throw?
Traditionally, a woman had nothing else to achieve but to get married. She groomed herself to be attractive to a man. She took culinary classes so she could cook for her husband. She learned basic studies so she could go to a good college and meet a guy who would provide for her. Everything a woman seemed to do revolved around meeting and marrying a man. A wedding was thus the happiest day for a female because she was "guaranteed" a proper future; she no longer needed to work at getting a man but instead maintaining a proper home.
It still exists today. I remember a story that I was told a few years back. One of my friend's sisters was at her first or second year at college and her roommate went to every class but one. She didn't drop out, she just never went. Finally, my friend's sister asked her roommate why she never attended that specific course. Her answer: There are no cute boys. Well the sister thought this was peculiar, as they were at a rather prestigious school and figured her roommate would concentrate more on scholastic achievement than mating, so she asked what the attractiveness of the males mattered? Wouldn't it be better so she could concentrate, anyway? Her roommate replied, "No, I came to college to meet a man who will make a lot of money, so if there are no cute guys, why would I go?" Well this is narrow thinking of what a good domestic partner would be, but I guess if all she wants is to get married and live out the rest of her days, so be it.
Overall though, it has changed. Women have gained the ability to work and, as a result, can be financially independent from her husband. She no longer works to get married, but to sustain herself. So what is the point of a wedding anymore besides a celebration of love?
Well I guess that's just it, a wedding is a celebration of love and life. After talking to a few of my friends, most of us came to the conclusion that we would really just like to have a wedding without the actual marriage part, at least for now. So I guess for us, a wedding is just to excuse to be in a beautiful atmosphere, with those you care most about, dancing around in celebration. So it's really more of an extension of a quinceanera or Sweet 16 party, only for two people coming together in the hopes that their life will be improved with the others' company.
So I guess this is more of a reasonable accounting of why many females have a small obsession with weddings; it may not be the traditional belief of "Now we have a man to take care of us" but instead "Let us get together and celebrate love and a caring future." After all, some of these weddings are in the most beautiful places I've ever seen...
So if you hear of a girl dreaming of her wedding day, think about what her motivations truly are? Is it because she wants to experience a celebration? Or because she feels that after her white dress she will no longer have to work and can rely on her husband instead? Either way, if women have claimed weddings as an excuse to celebrate love and life, and not as a consummation of their efforts in life, are weddings really a terrible or anti-feminist thing to hope for? Think about it...
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Friday, March 18, 2011
The Smartest Business Tactic: Hooters.
So if you haven't heard of Hooters I'm not sure what to tell you. It has become so popular, and so ridiculed, that I almost view a trip to Hooters as a rite of passage. Everyone should go; even if you do not like the idea, you should go just to understand what all the talk is about. Now, I repeat myself, if you don't know what Hooters is nor why it is such a big deal I shall explain:
Hooters is a "family restaurant." This means that it is appropriate to bring children of all ages to eat here. So why would this be an issue that the chain would actually have to label themselves as a "family restaurant"? Well the restaurant is known for employing waitress who are 1) beautiful, 2) rather thin, and most importantly, 3) they have HUGE hooters. Yes, waitresses are pretty much picked and employed by their physical stature and fat deposits on their chestal-region.
So today, for the first time, I stopped into Hooters. I must say, their burger was quite good, but we aren't here to talk about that.
Continuing on:
Obviously it isn't good for the mental health and personal image for the average woman. She walks into the restaurant and sees these women in uniforms that consist of booty-shorts and a tank top. The women are all young, and they all seem perfectly beautiful; hair, eyes, legs, butt, waist, and unnaturally bouncy boobs. I was comparing myself to them and I'm only 19, what does a 55 year old woman having a mid-life crisis see? Ordering from these waitresses gave me this awful sense of self and how I'm looked at. I was questioning whether or not I was good enough, beautiful enough, to be one of these girls. Plus, I knew that there are tons of these restaurants around which made me feel even more insignificant as a female. How is it possible that they have this body? This hair? This face?
Plus, these women are almost being objectified. I mean not really because they aren't being bought, but this restaurant is world famous because of the women who serve the food. Men flock to this restaurant so they can oogle the waitresses. Today I saw a guy look a waitress up and down while ordering, and when she walked away? He just looked straight at her butt without a sense of embarrassment. Granted, this is what these girls sign up for when they chose this job, but still! The women are admired for their fat sacks being in the right place more than their kindness and wit.
But, at the same time, I know a few girls who work at Hooters and they really like it. They are encouraged to be "curvy," to have a little extra fat, and they like that aspect of the restaurant. They also say it gives them confidence. Even though they are gorgeous and that is why they got the job, they have self esteem issues and working there makes them feel good about themselves. They can compete with the guys when it comes to anything. They don't have to hide their love of sports, beer, or whatnot that is considered "manly." They also say the atmosphere is really fun; it's just a whole bunch of people hanging out; it's an awesome place to work.
However, the "manliness"of loving beer and sports only goes so far. Even though they talk the talk, every waitress still has the typical "girly" handwriting. My waitresses' name was Melissa; in the beginning of our meal she wrote her name down on a napkin to remind us. So how was her calligraphy? Large, loopy, and spotted with hearts. Every girl's handwriting is extremely "feminine" and "cutsy" like they are expected to still maintain their ditsy "dumb blonde-ness." It's even a sign on the wall "CAUTION: Blondes thinking." Rude.
Now as I said, I questioned the idea of whether or not I could qualify as a Hooters girl, so I looked up their application process, and honestly, I'm a little disturbed... there are standards when it comes to their appearance. Now again, I understand this, every restaurant has a dress code, and Hooters has to have an especially strict one since most of their customers only come for the visuals, but I didn't realize how extensive it was. There are articles on the sight that describe the rules for hair, skin care, make-up, eyes and lips, and exercise.
So I clicked on the hair link. THERE'S A WHOLE PAGE, A WHOLE PAGE. Every single one of these links takes a few paragraphs to describe the physical upkeep these waitresses have to go through. There is no article on experience or how well you can serve, but how well you can maintain your boobs, butt, and gut. Hooters also puts on a "Pageant" for their girls, as if they didn't have enough judgment on their beauty before hand.
So I guess this is what I have to say: while it would be a quirky experience (because they do make fun of themselves for their ridiculous business antics) I would never feel comfortable in my own skin. I would have to constantly prep myself for work, I could never be the nerdy female I am naturally. Even in my uniform, I would feel judged by my customers and other waitresses. So while my girl friends who work there say it boosts their confidence, it's really only because they had been brought down from negative comments before. Men and women had judged these girls on their beauty and their "physical femininity," lowering their self esteem as a result. In order to get rid of this disappointment, they search for approval elsewhere, rather than looking at themselves for who they are. If these girls hadn't been judged in the beginning, they would never have had the need for approval and wouldn't be in this destructive web.
Now what is wrong with concentrating on your outer beauty? Nothing. Love what you have and embrace it while you can. But this only stands unless you base your self worth on your physical appearance. If you never follow anything else in your life, never develop a skill or love, then there will be nothing to look forward to in the future. Everyone ages and beauty disappears, but wit and passion do not diminish with time. If outer beauty is the only thing you love about yourself, then what will you have when your skin has wrinkled, hips have expanded, and metabolism has caught up to you? There must be something to live for beyond your physicality. Embrace that.
So restaurants like Hooters that attract men with beautiful women and attract beautiful women with approval is really just a recipe for future depression. How about we hire someone who can add a talent to their service? A girl who can croon your order? A woman who can introduces herself in sonnet? A female who can deduce the total cost of anything on the menu without a calculator? Something that gives these waitresses some acknowledgment of a passion they have rather than the passion from the loins of men. Let's find that.
Hooters is a "family restaurant." This means that it is appropriate to bring children of all ages to eat here. So why would this be an issue that the chain would actually have to label themselves as a "family restaurant"? Well the restaurant is known for employing waitress who are 1) beautiful, 2) rather thin, and most importantly, 3) they have HUGE hooters. Yes, waitresses are pretty much picked and employed by their physical stature and fat deposits on their chestal-region.
So today, for the first time, I stopped into Hooters. I must say, their burger was quite good, but we aren't here to talk about that.
Continuing on:
Obviously it isn't good for the mental health and personal image for the average woman. She walks into the restaurant and sees these women in uniforms that consist of booty-shorts and a tank top. The women are all young, and they all seem perfectly beautiful; hair, eyes, legs, butt, waist, and unnaturally bouncy boobs. I was comparing myself to them and I'm only 19, what does a 55 year old woman having a mid-life crisis see? Ordering from these waitresses gave me this awful sense of self and how I'm looked at. I was questioning whether or not I was good enough, beautiful enough, to be one of these girls. Plus, I knew that there are tons of these restaurants around which made me feel even more insignificant as a female. How is it possible that they have this body? This hair? This face?
Plus, these women are almost being objectified. I mean not really because they aren't being bought, but this restaurant is world famous because of the women who serve the food. Men flock to this restaurant so they can oogle the waitresses. Today I saw a guy look a waitress up and down while ordering, and when she walked away? He just looked straight at her butt without a sense of embarrassment. Granted, this is what these girls sign up for when they chose this job, but still! The women are admired for their fat sacks being in the right place more than their kindness and wit.
But, at the same time, I know a few girls who work at Hooters and they really like it. They are encouraged to be "curvy," to have a little extra fat, and they like that aspect of the restaurant. They also say it gives them confidence. Even though they are gorgeous and that is why they got the job, they have self esteem issues and working there makes them feel good about themselves. They can compete with the guys when it comes to anything. They don't have to hide their love of sports, beer, or whatnot that is considered "manly." They also say the atmosphere is really fun; it's just a whole bunch of people hanging out; it's an awesome place to work.
However, the "manliness"of loving beer and sports only goes so far. Even though they talk the talk, every waitress still has the typical "girly" handwriting. My waitresses' name was Melissa; in the beginning of our meal she wrote her name down on a napkin to remind us. So how was her calligraphy? Large, loopy, and spotted with hearts. Every girl's handwriting is extremely "feminine" and "cutsy" like they are expected to still maintain their ditsy "dumb blonde-ness." It's even a sign on the wall "CAUTION: Blondes thinking." Rude.
Now as I said, I questioned the idea of whether or not I could qualify as a Hooters girl, so I looked up their application process, and honestly, I'm a little disturbed... there are standards when it comes to their appearance. Now again, I understand this, every restaurant has a dress code, and Hooters has to have an especially strict one since most of their customers only come for the visuals, but I didn't realize how extensive it was. There are articles on the sight that describe the rules for hair, skin care, make-up, eyes and lips, and exercise.
So I clicked on the hair link. THERE'S A WHOLE PAGE, A WHOLE PAGE. Every single one of these links takes a few paragraphs to describe the physical upkeep these waitresses have to go through. There is no article on experience or how well you can serve, but how well you can maintain your boobs, butt, and gut. Hooters also puts on a "Pageant" for their girls, as if they didn't have enough judgment on their beauty before hand.
So I guess this is what I have to say: while it would be a quirky experience (because they do make fun of themselves for their ridiculous business antics) I would never feel comfortable in my own skin. I would have to constantly prep myself for work, I could never be the nerdy female I am naturally. Even in my uniform, I would feel judged by my customers and other waitresses. So while my girl friends who work there say it boosts their confidence, it's really only because they had been brought down from negative comments before. Men and women had judged these girls on their beauty and their "physical femininity," lowering their self esteem as a result. In order to get rid of this disappointment, they search for approval elsewhere, rather than looking at themselves for who they are. If these girls hadn't been judged in the beginning, they would never have had the need for approval and wouldn't be in this destructive web.
Now what is wrong with concentrating on your outer beauty? Nothing. Love what you have and embrace it while you can. But this only stands unless you base your self worth on your physical appearance. If you never follow anything else in your life, never develop a skill or love, then there will be nothing to look forward to in the future. Everyone ages and beauty disappears, but wit and passion do not diminish with time. If outer beauty is the only thing you love about yourself, then what will you have when your skin has wrinkled, hips have expanded, and metabolism has caught up to you? There must be something to live for beyond your physicality. Embrace that.
So restaurants like Hooters that attract men with beautiful women and attract beautiful women with approval is really just a recipe for future depression. How about we hire someone who can add a talent to their service? A girl who can croon your order? A woman who can introduces herself in sonnet? A female who can deduce the total cost of anything on the menu without a calculator? Something that gives these waitresses some acknowledgment of a passion they have rather than the passion from the loins of men. Let's find that.
"If there is no passion in your life, then have you really lived? Find your passion, whatever it may be. Become it, and let it become you and you will find great things happen FOR you, TO you and BECAUSE of you."
-T. Alan Armstrong
Monday, March 14, 2011
Sucker Punched
So the second thing that struck me in the past 13 days was with the new movie Sucker Punch. A second trailer may be found here. Now I have mixed feelings, and I guess it comes from the thing that always bothers me: the physical appearance of female heroes.
Personally, I think Sucker Punch is awesome. The main 6 characters are all females; they are all damaged in some way; they are all strong; and they are all trying to free themselves from those that have hurt them/ the guards (the men). It's a story that actually allows girls to be the protagonists, to find a way out, and to fight for what they want rather than just relying on "Prince Charming" to do it for them.
But, every single one of them is dressed up, and made up, in a sex-ified, totally unpractical fighting outfit. I know that there is always some element of sex in media because we are humans and sex does sell. HOWEVER, did we have to do it with the way that they are dressed?
First of all, they are in a prison, yet for some reason they all have access to eyeliner, mascara, sparkling eye shadow, foundation/ concealer/ powder, and blush. I don't ever remember any convict, from any era, ever having the access to make-up that can do this.
Secondly, their costumes are completely illogical for the stunts that they are pulling. Why is there cleavage? The heart is completely exposed making them an easy target for a kill via cardiac stab/bullet wound. Why are their thighs exposed? As we learned from Dexter, the femoral artery pumps a whole lot of blood to your legs, if it is split and left to bleed, you could die within minutes. So why would you expose such a weak spot?
Oh yeah...sex appeal.
Continuing on. Why is Baby Doll wearing a short skirt that resembles such of a school-girl fantasy? Wouldn't that just be difficult to keep in place while twirling through the air, kneeling on shrapnel, and doing a roundhouse kick to some guy's face? Come on. I'm sure if skirts were such a benefit to fighting a duel, men would have worn skirts to war a long time ago.... sorry Braveheart.
But I guess what it comes down to is that Sucker Punch is an action movie with a lot of violence that most girls don't want to see, and since the main protagonists are female there has to be some sense of appeal to men. So how do we attract female audiences? Female Protagonist. How do we attract the males? Violence and Sex. So I guess I should say "thanks..." because at least now there is a movie of girls kicking ass with the help of their fellow XX, but follow up with a "try again" for the costumer and director hoping to get more attention from their future female audience.
So I leave with this simple request: Can't we just have one female action hero that kicks ass without the help of a spandex/ latex/ fantasy girl outfit? Is that possible? I think it's a simple request... right?
Personally, I think Sucker Punch is awesome. The main 6 characters are all females; they are all damaged in some way; they are all strong; and they are all trying to free themselves from those that have hurt them/ the guards (the men). It's a story that actually allows girls to be the protagonists, to find a way out, and to fight for what they want rather than just relying on "Prince Charming" to do it for them.
But, every single one of them is dressed up, and made up, in a sex-ified, totally unpractical fighting outfit. I know that there is always some element of sex in media because we are humans and sex does sell. HOWEVER, did we have to do it with the way that they are dressed?
First of all, they are in a prison, yet for some reason they all have access to eyeliner, mascara, sparkling eye shadow, foundation/ concealer/ powder, and blush. I don't ever remember any convict, from any era, ever having the access to make-up that can do this.
Secondly, their costumes are completely illogical for the stunts that they are pulling. Why is there cleavage? The heart is completely exposed making them an easy target for a kill via cardiac stab/bullet wound. Why are their thighs exposed? As we learned from Dexter, the femoral artery pumps a whole lot of blood to your legs, if it is split and left to bleed, you could die within minutes. So why would you expose such a weak spot?
Oh yeah...sex appeal.
Continuing on. Why is Baby Doll wearing a short skirt that resembles such of a school-girl fantasy? Wouldn't that just be difficult to keep in place while twirling through the air, kneeling on shrapnel, and doing a roundhouse kick to some guy's face? Come on. I'm sure if skirts were such a benefit to fighting a duel, men would have worn skirts to war a long time ago.... sorry Braveheart.
But I guess what it comes down to is that Sucker Punch is an action movie with a lot of violence that most girls don't want to see, and since the main protagonists are female there has to be some sense of appeal to men. So how do we attract female audiences? Female Protagonist. How do we attract the males? Violence and Sex. So I guess I should say "thanks..." because at least now there is a movie of girls kicking ass with the help of their fellow XX, but follow up with a "try again" for the costumer and director hoping to get more attention from their future female audience.
So I leave with this simple request: Can't we just have one female action hero that kicks ass without the help of a spandex/ latex/ fantasy girl outfit? Is that possible? I think it's a simple request... right?
Name Game
Sooo many things to say. Unfortunately I haven't written in almost 2 weeks; shocking, I would think I have something more to say.
Anyway, I guess a few things that have struck me over the past 13 days are as follows:
1) I heard a group of girls of different races (and one boy) talking about different girl names that pertain to a certain race, that race being African American. Of course they mentioned the video that goes over the "Top 60 Ghetto Black Names" but what struck me as funny was when one of the girls asked where the name Shaniqua came from. The guy proceeded to look it up on Wikipedia but before he answered, another girl asked if it was a "feminisation" of the name Sean/ Shawn. I hadn't thought about that before. It would make sense looking back at the development of Western Civilization. Samuel and Samantha, Lawrence and Lauren/ Laura, Andrew and Andrea, or even Joseph and Josephine. Even the way we address people, Senor and Senorita for example.
So I started to wonder whether or not this is actually how it happened; are most Western female names just derivatives of male names? Were women named as extension of men? Since mothers/ fathers of early civilizations would 1) be expecting a boy and 2) not have the ability to tell which gender the baby is, would they just prepare the name of the child for a boy and when the surprise of a vagina appeared they just altered the name to fit the new baby?
I guess this doesn't really change the gender roles we have today (as girls are hopefully just as wanted as boys), and I guess since people are actually making up names for babies to fit what they feel it doesn't matter so much, but it was an interesting insight into what might have been the reasoning behind naming a child.
Anyway, I guess a few things that have struck me over the past 13 days are as follows:
1) I heard a group of girls of different races (and one boy) talking about different girl names that pertain to a certain race, that race being African American. Of course they mentioned the video that goes over the "Top 60 Ghetto Black Names" but what struck me as funny was when one of the girls asked where the name Shaniqua came from. The guy proceeded to look it up on Wikipedia but before he answered, another girl asked if it was a "feminisation" of the name Sean/ Shawn. I hadn't thought about that before. It would make sense looking back at the development of Western Civilization. Samuel and Samantha, Lawrence and Lauren/ Laura, Andrew and Andrea, or even Joseph and Josephine. Even the way we address people, Senor and Senorita for example.
So I started to wonder whether or not this is actually how it happened; are most Western female names just derivatives of male names? Were women named as extension of men? Since mothers/ fathers of early civilizations would 1) be expecting a boy and 2) not have the ability to tell which gender the baby is, would they just prepare the name of the child for a boy and when the surprise of a vagina appeared they just altered the name to fit the new baby?
I guess this doesn't really change the gender roles we have today (as girls are hopefully just as wanted as boys), and I guess since people are actually making up names for babies to fit what they feel it doesn't matter so much, but it was an interesting insight into what might have been the reasoning behind naming a child.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
The Competitive Edge
This week we had two speakers visit us and talk about women in sports and specifically Physical Education. To jump right into it I asked if they thought it would be better for the popularity/ media coverage of women sports if we just made the teams co-ed.
One of the speakers answered saying that since men do have more testosterone, there isn't an even playing field unless a third party is involved, like the Equestrian team or Bowling. So then one of them asked us if we believed playing with boys makes us more aggressive? Have we ever experienced boys making fun of us for being competitive or sporty?
Well, 1) From my personal experience, I do become more competitive when playing with boys. I guess it is because most boys feel like they have to make sure they won't be beat by a girl, which makes them more competitive, and as a result, I kick it up a notch. But another reason why is because boys tend to have a stronger interest in sports than girls do so I get excited that I can actually play a sport and thus become more competitive.
In high school there were three girls in P.E. class who would do anything: my friend Coni, my friend Lexi, and myself. When we played softball, Lexi would pitch, Coni would do anything she could, and I would play either short stop or second base. All the other girls? They would be in the outfield talking in clumps and making flower necklaces. The same thing happened for hockey, tennis, and basketball. The three of us would play with the guys as the girls re-enacted the typical scene from the movies: talking in a clump and squealing when the ball came near.
So as I'm writing this I realize that I have two different views:
1) Yes, I understand why the girls don't want to play, they are just not interested and/or are afraid of the ball and don't want to get hurt. They probably also think that P.E. was pointless (because they were skinny anyway, and you know, skinny means healthy, right?) and didn't want to put in effort that wasn't needed.
2) But at the same time, they also just want to appear cool, girly, pretty, and attract the boys. They don't want to get sweaty and smell, they want to just be the eye-candy. Now can I blame them for that?
They were the types of girls that didn't care about school. They skimmed by in every class and had no motivation to do anything but shop and drink at the age of 13. So should I be jealous? Upset? Well yeah it upsets me that they are doing nothing with their life except becoming a future trophy wife (and pictures on Facebook are showing this to be true), but if that's what they want then I can't blame them. I just have to follow my own path and let them go where they want.
And now I've gone a whole different direction than I wanted. So, skipping back:
2) Was I teased by the boys for participating?
Well sometimes when I would make a really awful throw, even I would be embarrassed, but for some reason the laughter of the guys stung more than that from the girls. I did feel like I needed to prove myself to them, and when I screwed up, I was only making my situation worse. Maybe I should just sit back with the other girls and not play sports...
But then my competitiveness would kick in and I would just keep playing.
At the same time though, I made some of my best guy friends from P.E. class. I can name at least 4 that I still talk to. They define me as "a strong independent girl who knows what I want" and they like that about me. Some even say that it was my competitiveness that made me stand out from the others, even if I can get a little too crazy.
So yes, I was teased, and it sucks, it honestly hurts looking back now. I made a fool of myself sometimes, and the judgment from the boys was either "ha ha you lost to a boy!" if I messed up or "you just got lucky, I wasn't paying attention" when I scored a point. It hurt that I still had to put up with the idea that I wasn't good at some sports. But, there were those guys that would pass me the ball, that would invite me to hang out outside of class, or those that even asked me out on dates because no matter how sweaty I was, I was still a girl.
So thank you to those boys who are starting to change. Thank you for appreciating girls who work hard, who try. Thank you for letting them be competitive and not teasing them when they mess up or even do well. You have no idea how important that you are to them, how influential you can be. So pass it on, make sure those after you carry the same respect, because honestly, it will be better on both teams; and for lack of a better ending joke, just keep the ball rolling.
One of the speakers answered saying that since men do have more testosterone, there isn't an even playing field unless a third party is involved, like the Equestrian team or Bowling. So then one of them asked us if we believed playing with boys makes us more aggressive? Have we ever experienced boys making fun of us for being competitive or sporty?
Well, 1) From my personal experience, I do become more competitive when playing with boys. I guess it is because most boys feel like they have to make sure they won't be beat by a girl, which makes them more competitive, and as a result, I kick it up a notch. But another reason why is because boys tend to have a stronger interest in sports than girls do so I get excited that I can actually play a sport and thus become more competitive.
In high school there were three girls in P.E. class who would do anything: my friend Coni, my friend Lexi, and myself. When we played softball, Lexi would pitch, Coni would do anything she could, and I would play either short stop or second base. All the other girls? They would be in the outfield talking in clumps and making flower necklaces. The same thing happened for hockey, tennis, and basketball. The three of us would play with the guys as the girls re-enacted the typical scene from the movies: talking in a clump and squealing when the ball came near.
So as I'm writing this I realize that I have two different views:
1) Yes, I understand why the girls don't want to play, they are just not interested and/or are afraid of the ball and don't want to get hurt. They probably also think that P.E. was pointless (because they were skinny anyway, and you know, skinny means healthy, right?) and didn't want to put in effort that wasn't needed.
2) But at the same time, they also just want to appear cool, girly, pretty, and attract the boys. They don't want to get sweaty and smell, they want to just be the eye-candy. Now can I blame them for that?
They were the types of girls that didn't care about school. They skimmed by in every class and had no motivation to do anything but shop and drink at the age of 13. So should I be jealous? Upset? Well yeah it upsets me that they are doing nothing with their life except becoming a future trophy wife (and pictures on Facebook are showing this to be true), but if that's what they want then I can't blame them. I just have to follow my own path and let them go where they want.
And now I've gone a whole different direction than I wanted. So, skipping back:
2) Was I teased by the boys for participating?
Well sometimes when I would make a really awful throw, even I would be embarrassed, but for some reason the laughter of the guys stung more than that from the girls. I did feel like I needed to prove myself to them, and when I screwed up, I was only making my situation worse. Maybe I should just sit back with the other girls and not play sports...
But then my competitiveness would kick in and I would just keep playing.
At the same time though, I made some of my best guy friends from P.E. class. I can name at least 4 that I still talk to. They define me as "a strong independent girl who knows what I want" and they like that about me. Some even say that it was my competitiveness that made me stand out from the others, even if I can get a little too crazy.
So yes, I was teased, and it sucks, it honestly hurts looking back now. I made a fool of myself sometimes, and the judgment from the boys was either "ha ha you lost to a boy!" if I messed up or "you just got lucky, I wasn't paying attention" when I scored a point. It hurt that I still had to put up with the idea that I wasn't good at some sports. But, there were those guys that would pass me the ball, that would invite me to hang out outside of class, or those that even asked me out on dates because no matter how sweaty I was, I was still a girl.
So thank you to those boys who are starting to change. Thank you for appreciating girls who work hard, who try. Thank you for letting them be competitive and not teasing them when they mess up or even do well. You have no idea how important that you are to them, how influential you can be. So pass it on, make sure those after you carry the same respect, because honestly, it will be better on both teams; and for lack of a better ending joke, just keep the ball rolling.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)