It's a Nice Day for a White Wedding

It's said that a woman's happiest day is the day she gets married.

Well today I stumbled upon a wedding planning site that I fell absolutely in love with; trouble is I'm 19 and I don't plan on marrying for quite a while, which leaves me with a whole decade of trends, designs, and personal style to come through and change my world. But still, I can't help but flip through the site and look at all of the beautiful wedding photos.

I also happened to watch Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer, which begins with a wedding.

So the common theme between the two of these? The women are always the ones controlling and leading the matrimonial celebration. In fact, the women are usually the ones in focus in the engagement and wedding photos. As a result I was left with several questions, are we, as women, expected to care this much about weddings? Is it because we have been groomed this way since we were little, expecting to have some extravagant ceremony? Is it because women in history could achieve nothing better than marrying a man? Or is it more that women actually like planning parties and a wedding is the ultimate thing you could throw?

Traditionally, a woman had nothing else to achieve but to get married. She groomed herself to be attractive to a man. She took culinary classes so she could cook for her husband. She learned basic studies so she could go to a good college and meet a guy who would provide for her. Everything a woman seemed to do revolved around meeting and marrying a man. A wedding was thus the happiest day for a female because she was "guaranteed" a proper future; she no longer needed to work at getting a man but instead maintaining a proper home.

It still exists today. I remember a story that I was told a few years back. One of my friend's sisters was at her first or second year at college and her roommate went to every class but one. She didn't drop out, she just never went. Finally, my friend's sister asked her roommate why she never attended that specific course. Her answer: There are no cute boys. Well the sister thought this was peculiar, as they were at a rather prestigious school and figured her roommate would concentrate more on scholastic achievement than mating, so she asked what the attractiveness of the males mattered? Wouldn't it be better so she could concentrate, anyway? Her roommate replied, "No, I came to college to meet a man who will make a lot of money, so if there are no cute guys, why would I go?" Well this is narrow thinking of what a good domestic partner would be, but I guess if all she wants is to get married and live out the rest of her days, so be it.

Overall though, it has changed. Women have gained the ability to work and, as a result, can be financially independent from her husband. She no longer works to get married, but to sustain herself. So what is the point of a wedding anymore besides a celebration of love?

Well I guess that's just it, a wedding is a celebration of love and life. After talking to a few of my friends, most of us came to the conclusion that we would really just like to have a wedding without the actual marriage part, at least for now. So I guess for us, a wedding is just to excuse to be in a beautiful atmosphere, with those you care most about, dancing around in celebration. So it's really more of an extension of a quinceanera or Sweet 16 party, only for two people coming together in the hopes that their life will be improved with the others' company.

So I guess this is more of a reasonable accounting of why many females have a small obsession with weddings; it may not be the traditional belief of "Now we have a man to take care of us" but instead "Let us get together and celebrate love and a caring future." After all, some of these weddings are in the most beautiful places I've ever seen...

So if you hear of a girl dreaming of her wedding day, think about what her motivations truly are? Is it because she wants to experience a celebration? Or because she feels that after her white dress she will no longer have to work and can rely on her husband instead? Either way, if women have claimed weddings as an excuse to celebrate love and life, and not as a consummation of their efforts in life, are weddings really a terrible or anti-feminist thing to hope for? Think about it...