Put you in Your Place: the Grey Area

So here's something I never understood: Revenge.

Maybe I was just raised on the eye-dea (get it? You will....) that and "eye for an eye makes the world blind," so I saw revenge as something harmful to all involved. I can't be the only one that feels this way...

Well I read an article on Black Girl Dangerous that irked me.

"One of my favorite scenes in all of Beyonce’s new videos is in “Partition” when she drops that napkin just so that white woman has to pick it up. I read it as an incredible moment wherein a powerful black woman flips the script on white women who are constantly trying to put her in “her place” and in one subtle movement puts them in theirs. And I am all for black women pushing back against white feminist nonsense. But it should not happen at the expense of a black feminism that includes keeping our critical lens focused, not just on white women and others who would seek to tear us down, but also on our idols and ourselves."

First of all, I actually do agree with her on some points of the article, mainly this:

"Adiche quotes a dictionary definition of a feminist as “a person who believes in the social, economic and political equality of the sexes.” This seems to be Beyoncé’s way of declaring herself a feminist. I like the quote, I think it’s important, and I’m really glad it’s there. That said: I think it sets the bar just a bit too low. I would argue that, with all due respect to the dictionary, that definition is lacking in one very important sense. I would add:

…and who is able to look at the world with a critical eye so as to be able to identify those times and places where that equality is not present.""

Feminism is just the idea that men and women are equal; that humans are equal. She does a lovely job at explaining this and defending Beyonce and her beliefs because of it. HOWEVER, she crosses a line that limits "white feminists" to racists. Pretty much plain and simple. She believes that somehow every white feminist has forgotten about women of color. Yet this is an unfounded prejudice that hurts not only those of us who constantly recognize our own privilege and fight against it, but more so it hurts feminism and sisterhood. Not all of us "white feminists" think this way. We aren't all selfish enough to forget the terrible history that our ancestors put their fellow women through. Not only that, but Mia also assumes that all of those who criticized Beyonce for her questionable feminism were white, which is a HUGE assumption. She speaks as if there is some giant schism between those with different melatonin levels. As if it's a conspiracy that white women can't handle having a woman in power just because she's black. What about the women who are half-white and half-colored? Where do they fit into this theory?  They can't. Because she has created an ultimatum and has forced them to chose a side. Are you a white feminist or a feminist of color?

Feminism is about women. It's about men. It's about co-existing. Yes, race definitely plays into privilege and leading lives day to day, but pigeon holing all white women and demonizing them only causes a race war. We are sisters on this Earth. We are here to band together and be strong. If you accuse all "white feminists" of trying to tear you down, you aren't fighting against the patriarchy, you're fighting against those who are trying to help you but you are in fact prejudice against because of your own assumtions. Power doesn't come from flipping the script on white women and putting them in their place, that's just revenge which ends up hurting everyone. Power doesn't stem from stepping on others. Or maybe it does. But EQUALITY, does not. Equality is a result of mutual respect and consideration. What she's talking about does not seem like feminism to me, it seems like revenge from someone who is angry and feels they need to be honored and compensated for the terrible misdeeds that have been done to others before them.

I can't deny that I have grown up with white privilege. However, it is not fair to accuse me of constantly trying to put women of color in their place. I was not born in the 1950s or the 1800s. I understand how cruel my ancestors were. But rather than punishing me for it and taking revenge, how about we grow past that. You don't have to forgive my forefathers who were slave owners, I don't even forgive them for that. However, I am different. My friends are different. Modern day white feminists are different...or at least some of them are. We aren't the same as those in the past and we aren't the same as each other. Don't assume we are all forgetful, ignorant, or selfish. It's unfair to us, it's unfair to you, and it's unfair to the cause that should be bringing us together.

Be powerful. Be commanding. But be mindful. Not everyone is trying to hurt you. Don't pigeon hole a group because of a few critical people. That's how stigmas are created. Not all men are misogynists. Not all white women are racist. Nothing is black and white. Not even our skin.